Monkeys and Trolls

Long-tailed macaque. Neyyar Dam Wildlife Sanctuary

On Sunday morning, on the way back from a hike to see the sunrise over the Western Ghats, this monkey greeted us. He was just hanging out waiting for his troop to catch him up. Which they did and off they all scarpered. There have been so many moments on this trip that have just blown me away. I laugh out loud or audibly gasp because I can’t quite believe how stunning the view is or, on days like this one, I find that the pages of National Geographic have come to life and I’m grinning at a monkey.

But morning hikes are on hold for the time being as I begin day 11 of my 14-day panchakarma programme. I am right in the middle of the purgation process so I’ll spare you the details, but am told today is going to be a humdinger. I initially made the decision to make this ashram my Taking Leave starting point with the idea that it would give me the opportunity to reset, both physically and mentally, before beginning my adventure proper. I imagined it would be a kind of bridge between here and there and thought I might just gently amble my way across. But had clearly not given the troll his dues.

It’s not that I hadn’t expected to feel untethered and perhaps unsettled for a period but it’s one thing to think about it in words and another to experience it. It feels similar to my experience of psychotherapy training; like the layers are being peeled back. But with the panchakarma there’s a very physical aspect to it too. Thankfully, this time around I’m not as overwhelmed by the process and I know it to be cleansing. I’m still grinning at monkeys and am very happy I’m here. But, nevertheless, it’s really quite the journey. I met a Swedish guy the other day who has been travelling for two years and he said it’s time for him to go home so he can process and reflect on his time away. It was curious to me because I had thought to come away in order to reflect on the last five years at work, but hadn’t properly considered that of course all time spent deserves reflection. Or else, what’s the point? Perhaps I need to stop thinking of this as a year off.

On Sunday I finish treatment and will say goodbye to my Panchakarma gang. I can’t tell you how grateful I am to them. We’re all at different stages so it’s been so reassuring to share and everybody talks so openly and with such good humour. I really wasn’t joking about the enema chats over supper. The clinic waiting room and morning shots of medicated oils have also been a disgusting yet amusing time. We compare dosages and race to see who can consume theirs first and with the least fuss. It’s never been me, but you would know that. Pretending it’s a shot of alcohol, as we often do, hasn’t made it any easier. Sesame oil is ruined for me and I was never a fan of castor oil in the first place.

On Tuesday morning I leave the ashram in a tuk tuk to Trivandrum. From there I’ll take a train back up the coast to Alleppey and hope to be there by mid-afternoon. Alleppey is famous for its backwaters of rivers and lakes so I’ve found myself a quiet place on an island where I’ll stay for four nights. I’m hoping to eat, canoe and read. After this, I think I’m going to need a rest.