Because We Really Are Fish

The New Heaven Dive School crew

My last day on Koh Tao and here I sit, in Koppee, drinking a mango smoothie and smelling of camphor and coconut. I’ve been pummelled, pulled, and folded in two, and have that loose-limbed feeling when the space between your joints seems to have been restored. There is nothing quite like a Thai massage.

Turns out I had built up quite a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders. And if you’d seen what a rotten day I had on Monday, you wouldn’t be surprised. I’m blaming the full moon. Which I’ve decided messed with the ocean and with me and made everything about diving that day slightly painful. I completed three dives, including a night dive, and quite honestly, didn’t feel at all comfortable for most of it. It had been a stormy start to the day, and I felt a swell in the ocean that I hadn’t felt before. And then, as is my way, I struggled to accept my struggle. For much of the day, I just wanted to cry. But again I owe a lot to dear Pod, and also to Marisa, who, as a newly-qualified dive instructor, had assisted on all of my dives since Day 2. I’ve been spoilt to have had the undivided attention and encouragement of this young dream-team and, with them, there was just no way I could fail. Their combined age is no less than seven years short of mine but their patience and wisdom bears no relation.

And then, Hallelujah, came Tuesday. I had to make two more dives in order to complete my Advanced certification, one being a deep dive and the other a fish identification dive. Happy, happy days. I definitely felt a little nervous about the deep dive but I was excited too. Whatever moon-madness I had been feeling the day before was gone. I was briefed on the effects of Nitrogen Narcosis, also known as, ‘the raptures of the deep’, and told that I may feel a kind of drunken euphoria when we got down to 30 metres. I was also told that the effects, should I experience them, would pass as I ascended. Then I was given a cognitive functioning & response test that would be repeated when we reached depth.

Up until this dive, on every single dive, I had experienced a shortness of breath the moment I entered the water and had to give myself a moment or two to collect myself before being ready to descend. But this time, I only barely registered it. It was there, but only a trace. It was a beautifully calm day, the visibility was good and I was ready to go. And the descent was as a dream. We were completely surrounded by what I now know to be yellowtail scad, and their silver and yellow against the cerulean blue of the ocean was exactly what I had imagined scuba diving to be. We were only at 5 to 10 metres and I was already in raptures.

We descended right over the top of a ship wreck, the HMTS Sattakut, and then continued to its stern before making our final descent to 30 metres. The three of us knelt on the sand on the ocean floor and were immediately joined by a curious little rabbitfish. I guess I did feel a little giddy and am finding it hard to convince anyone that it was simply pure joy. It’s not unusual to perform better in the cognitive functioning test at depth, and I did. I felt focussed and clear-headed and knocked 6 seconds off my surface time of 26 seconds. Tests and observations completed, we swam on to explore the wreck and I felt like I was flying through space as we cruised midway between the surface and the seabed. This, right here, was why I wanted to learn to dive.

Our second dive was just as much fun. I had learnt the hand signals for a whale shark and a turtle, although sadly we didn't see either. But amongst others, Pod and Marisa pointed out angelfish, butterflyfish, nudibranch, triggerfish, pink anemone fish, bannerfish, a blue spotted ray, a pufferfish and a seriously almighty giant grouper that more than lived up to its name. I didn’t make a perfect score, but happens that it was good enough. I’ve also still got work to do on my buoyancy and to steady my breathing but am enjoying the way breath and lung capacity is used in scuba diving. The connection between emotions and breathing has never been more obvious to me than it is underwater and the physical consequences of my breathing patterns are immediate. My body is apt to rise and fall with every inhale and every exhale, and this is quickly amplified when I become anxious or distracted and lose my rhythm. It is only with a slow, deep, regular breath, that I can hold my position and, of course, breathing in this way has a calming effect. It is the best feeling when it happens without thinking.

So all of this makes me an ‘advanced’ diver but, like so many other things, this is where the learning really begins. And I certainly want to dive more especially now I know, having fleetingly felt it, the real joy that comes in those moments when the skills are in place and the thinking stops.

Tomorrow I leave Koh Tao on a 6am ferry to Surat Thani on the mainland. From there I’m bussing to the edge of Khao Sok National Park. I should arrive sometime early to mid-afternoon but have heard these kind of journeys are notoriously unpredictable. In any case, I’m expecting jungles and lakes, hiking and kayaking, and possibly some very wet weather. Maybe leeches? But am assured the waterfalls will be pumping. I’m in Khao Sok for 3 nights, until Sunday, before a final 2 Thai nights in Bangkok. On Tuesday 22nd, I fly to Luang Prabang in Laos.